[Monday Success Reflections with Apeh] 18: 7 ways to build friendly attitudes
“There are friends who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” –Proverbs 18:24
Today, let’s reflect on something I had discussed sometime last year because I feel in my heart it is a key that will motivate someone towards success and that is the attitude of being friendly and how to build such. I believe that friendship is one of the things that make the world go round. Unfortunately, people never set out in life with the decision to become friendly. Some people find it so difficult to be the first person to smile, wave a hand or simply say hello. In most cases, we want to wait until someone approaches us to become a friend before we respond.
This kind of attitude is not one that is identifiable with successful people. Friendship is one of the greatest gifts in life and therefore should be desired by anyone who wants to become successful in life. There are times and seasons in our life that the only consolation we may get is that we still have people that matter in our life.
Our fear for not showing ourselves friendly is mostly based on the harm and disappointment we may have experienced in the past from ‘so called friends’. However, that does not mean all friends are bad either, because God’s word assures that there is a friend who sticks closer to you than a brother, even when all other have failed in their friendship with you. And in choosing friends, you have to set your criteria without being judgemental and at the same time without making yourself cheap. Another thing is that if you have encountered negative friends, be sure that you never sowed any such acts before.
In your attempt to become friendly, be purposeful in doing that. If not you will attract rather, all kinds of people into your life. Someone said that “Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.” So you see the role you play in God’s hands when you are someone else’s friend? When you are a friend to someone, you nourish their souls with your kindness. To them it is a special kind of love. To the world, you are someone, but to those whom you have shown yourself friendly, you are the world.
So here is how to develop friendly and sociable attitude
1. Get rid of all unfriendly behaviours.
Prevent unfriendliness by adopting a new perspective or way of seeing things in life, resulting in new ideas, values, and realities. Smile, rather than being a snub; trust, rather than doubt; and stay positive, rather than being negative.
2. Develop a friendly mindset.
Make sure your attitude is friendly for realization. To do that, you must develop a way of thinking in which friendliness is the default position. Learn to like yourself. Before other people can start liking you, you should give them enough reasons to.
3. Become familiar with people.
When you see the same people over a period of time, start conversations with them. Find out if you have similar interests; and if the conditions are right, you can start up a friendship. Becoming familiar with the people you deal with every day will make this much easier. Start by smiling, saying “hello,” and introducing yourself. And before you know it, a new friendship has developed.
4. Introduce yourself.
Do not wait for other people to ask you your name and more information about you. Be the first one to take the initiative to say, “By the way, my name is [Apeh]. What’s yours?” The sooner you introduce yourself to other people, the more comfortable you become with each other. On the other hand, when you wait longer to make an introduction, the situation gets more awkward.
5. Let other people know they are important.
Remember important facts and details about other people you meet. In doing so, you make them feel special. Your attention shows your interest and curiosity, and encourages them to talk and reveal more information. When people begin to open up to you, it means they are starting to trust you and are comfortable with you.
6. Don’t be afraid to show your liking to the other person.
When you want to make friends with someone, let him know you are interested and that you want to get to know him better. Make it a point to stop and chat when there is a perfect opportunity. You will be building a friendly, outgoing attitude. When you show a person that you like him, he will most likely respond in a friendly manner.
7. Learn to repair damages.
Even if it can be difficult at times, apologize and say you’re sorry, especially if you know it’s your fault. You may not be forgiven right away, but at least you have done your part in accepting your mistake and in asking for forgiveness. People tend to forget mistakes done by those who know how to acknowledge them and are ready to make changes.
If you do these, you will not only be a blessing to many but you will also build covenant friends who will stick with you through thick and thin on your journey to destiny.
May God use your friendship to bring sons and daughters to destiny in 2014. As you do so, may God also bring men into your life for your lifting in 2014.
Your friend in Success and Excellence
@jabulaniapeh, @ApehOmede, @SuccessConverge
Team Leader – LifeExcel and Convener, SuccessConverge